


The prat next door

by Saltedkiss



Series: Saltedkiss' Camelove 2021 Contributions [6]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Arthur has a crush on Merlin, Crack Treated Seriously, Disaster Arthur Pendragon, M/M, Misunderstandings, No beta we die like everyone except for Merlin & Leon, POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Pining, and I do mean DISASTER, which turns him into a complete mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-23 01:00:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30047517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saltedkiss/pseuds/Saltedkiss
Summary: Emrys, it said on the box. Arthur ran his thumb over the label. M. Emrys, he mouthed. He didn’t say it out loud. He didn’t want to. He’d signed for the package, so now it was his responsibility. His to hand over to the man it belonged to.The words Camelot Plumbing LTD were printed in a bright gold on the lid. He should definitely go hand it over to M. Emrys, the neighbor he had been crushing on for months now. What’s the worst that could happen?Written for Camelove: Day 7 - Free day
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: Saltedkiss' Camelove 2021 Contributions [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2150835
Comments: 41
Kudos: 170
Collections: Camelove 2021





	The prat next door

**Author's Note:**

> Based on [this prompt I found on Tumblr](https://shut-up-merlin.tumblr.com/post/631227455970181120/so-one-of-the-prompts-in-this-list-by).

_Emrys, it said on the box. Arthur ran his thumb over the label. M. Emrys, he mouthed. He didn’t say it out loud. He didn’t want to. He’d signed for the package, so now it was his responsibility. His to hand over to the man it belonged to._

_The words_ **_Camelot Plumbing LTD_ ** _were printed in a bright gold on the lid. He should definitely go hand it over to M. Emrys. Sooner, rather than later. What’s the worst that could happen?_

Emrys was Arthur’s neighbour. Had been since he moved in a little after Christmas. Due to the heavy snowfall that day, the hallway had been full of the slush his new neighbour and his friends had dragged in. They had been horribly loud that morning, while they hauled box after box up the narrow stairs. 

Arthur liked to think he wouldn’t have minded if it had been another day. Any other day. Pretended they wouldn't have gotten off on the wrong foot if only M. Emrys hadn’t moved in the morning after his office’s Christmas party. Arthur wasn’t exactly a morning person. When his new neighbour and his friends climbed the stairs, each thump of the men’s boots echoed between Arthur’s ears. Each fit of laughter made him crawl deeper under the covers. He should have gotten out of bed to offer the men a cup of coffee, but he didn’t. Instead, when Arthur had gotten up, a ball of misery in the overly expensive duvet his sister had bought him, he had slammed his fists against the walls and had ordered them to keep it the fuck down. Had shouted even harder when the men on the other side of the wall had burst out in laughter after a moment of baffled silence. 

He’d regretted it ever since. 

Because later that day, he’d laid eyes on the damn demi-god who’d come to live next door. Arthur had been on his way to the pharmacist, to get another box of aspirin, possibly five of them. When he walked past the flat next to his, the door had been wide open. On the kitchen counter, he spotted a tall raven-haired man, surrounded by his friends in their dirty boots. The man’s long legs dangled in the air. He was laughing over a couple of beers with his friends, in celebration of the end of a hard day’s work. 

Arthur hadn’t meant to stop. Hadn’t meant to stand there in the middle of the hall in his tracksuit and trainers. He certainly hadn’t meant for his jaw to drop. But there he was. 

His new neighbour was drop dead gorgeous. The blush that had spread over those sinful cheekbone accentuated a pair of impossibly blue eyes. His charcoal hair was a tousled mess and was still a bit wet with sweat around his temples, probably from hauling numerous boxes around. Two large ears stuck out from between the strands of hair. They would have looked ridiculous on anyone else, but they somehow fit the man’s face perfectly. Arthur was in trouble. 

“Can I help you?” 

Great, Arthur thought, even the man’s low voice was attractive. 

Life was so unfair. 

One of the men next to the counter cleared his throat. Oh. Right. He was supposed to answer that. He’d been asked a question. 

“Oh. Yeah. No. I’m... I’m Arthur. I live in 3B, right down the h-” 

“Right. I guess that means you’re the prat who lives next door,” his neighbour’s blue eyes went a bit darker, “thanks for the warm welcome, mate. Really appreciate it.” 

Arthur’s next actions had done nothing to change his neighbour’s impression of him. Any normal person would have apologised. Would have found a way to turn this mess into something funny. Would have been suave and smooth and might have even ended up slipping the man his phone number. But not Arthur. 

Definitely not Arthur. 

Arthur turned into a complete idiot. He knew he did. But was he really to blame? He scoffed and grumbled and cursed and stammered and rolled his eyes at the group of men, before stalking off without another word. He knew it made him look like the stuck-up prat Cheekbones had called him. But so be it. 

Arthur soon learned the man’s name. Or a part of it at least. A few days after moving in in, the man had adorned his mailbox in the small entry hall to the apartment building with a shiny copper plaque reading “M. Emrys”. So now Cheekbones had a name. Not that it mattered. Arthur didn’t really think about the man. 

Ever. 

At all. 

*** 

Months passed and Arthur and Emrys had three more conversations. 

The first time they spoke after Emrys moved in, was a Saturday morning at 10:27. Not that Arthur remembered the exact time it happened. Remembering that would be silly, really. 

Arthur went downstairs to pick up his mail just as the other man walked in. Now Arthur had had his fair share of walks of shame himself, but this one looked like it was worth talking about. He couldn’t help but grin when he saw the man’s attire. He held a cowboy hat in his hands and was dressed in a pair of white trousers and a white collared shirt that had dried specks of red and blue paint all over it. Arthur noticed several dark bruises just above the other man’s collar and felt his mouth go dry. 

When he noticed Arthur was staring at him, M. Emrys scowled. 

“What?” he snapped. 

Arthur chuckled. 

“You look like you had an interesting night.” 

Emrys’ eyes narrowed. “What of it?” 

“No, I just meant the...” Arthur meant to refer to the paint, he really did, but what came out was, “the love bites. Dating a vampire, are we?” 

He felt like punching himself in the face. Probably should. 

The other man hadn’t even answered, Arthur remembered later. He’d just glared before emptying his mailbox and heading back to his flat. Arthur also remembered that, when his neighbour blushed, the tips of those ridiculously large ears turned red. 

The second conversation they had, was on a Tuesday night around eleven. Arthur had been ready for bed, when his upstairs neighbour’s cat had gone missing. The absolutely devastated Ms. Santos had come knocking on everyone’s doors, all but manhandling everyone who dared to come see what all the fuss was about out into the corridor so they could help her look for the fireball. 

“Seriously who in their right mind calls their cat Mittens...” Arthur heard to his right. Obviously, Arthur hadn’t been the only one who was about ready for bed. Although when he looked at M. Emrys, sleep was the last thing on Arthur’s mind. He couldn’t keep his eyes off all that lean muscle covered by a layer of thick black chest hair that just screamed for Arthur to run his fingers through it. He felt his fingers twitch and quickly balled his hands into fists at his sides before looking down. 

Bad idea. Horrible idea. 

Looking down meant tearing his eyes off of the man’s very inviting chest, yes. But that also meant he had to run his eyes over the kind of toned abdomen Arthur wouldn’t mind having for dessert. He swallowed when he got to the ridiculously low waistband of the man’s pyjama bottoms, and forced his gaze down, right past a pair of surprisingly thick thighs for someone so slender until... 

Arthur snorted. 

“What, you don’t like these?” It sounded amused. 

“I mean...” 

Arthur grinned when the other man wiggled his toes in the bunny slippers on his feet. M. Emrys chuckled. Arthur’s eyes snapped back up until they found Emrys’. 

Arthur opened his mouth. He was going to say something that wouldn’t make him sound like an ass this time. He was. 

“Mittens is missing,” is what came out. 

Arthur was almost proud. It could have been worse. He hadn’t insulted anyone this time and was pretty sure he didn’t sound like an idiot, either. That, of course, was before he heard himself ask, “If you were a cat where would you go?” 

Emrys arched a brow. So much for not sounding like an idiot.

“I, er, I didn’t –” 

“The roof,” the other man said, eyes still on Arthur’s face. “I’d go to the roof. The view up there’s amazing, especially at night.” 

“Right.” 

And so they went up the fire escape. Arthur didn’t think he went last on purpose, but if he had, someone should have congratulated him on this stroke of genius. The view up here really was amazing. 

Arthur didn’t get back to his flat until well past midnight. Merlin had been the one to find the cat behind the flower pots on the roof terrace. Arthur wasn’t a very jealous man. Never had been. But for about three whole seconds, he’d found himself staring at the bright red scratches on M. Emrys’ chest, wishing his name was Mittens. 

The third time they spoke had been a coincidence, according to Arthur. Arthur really hadn’t been waiting to take his trash out to the dumpster behind his building until he heard a door open. He hadn’t. The fact that a small puddle had formed below the trash bags by the door didn’t mean Arthur had left them there for two days, just so he could bump into M. Emrys by accident. 

Not at all. 

As soon as Arthur heard his neighbour’s footsteps in the hall, he grabbed a black bag in each hand and all but ran out of his apartment. He heard his neighbour lock his door. Shit, Arthur thought, just as his own door clicked shut. Shit. 

Arthur groaned and put his hand in his pocket to look for the keys he knew wouldn’t be there. 

“Everything okay?” he heard a low voice ask behind him. 

Arthur looked at the man and nodded. “Yeah, just great.” 

“You’re leaking.” 

Arthur gave him a puzzled look. M. Emrys pointed at the floor by Arthur’s feet. Oh, great. He hadn’t even put shoes on either. 

“Oh. Right. Time to go put those... out back,” Arthur tried. 

“On your socks?” 

“Yes. Is that a problem?” 

Arthur's neighbour chuckled and shook his head. He took one of the bags without saying another word and started walking. Arthur quickly followed and fell into step with the other man. 

They ended up walking down the stairs together. M. Emrys held the door open for Arthur, who mumbled something that could have been thanks. It definitely sounded like a thank you, he thought. Arthur was proud of himself. Progress. Definitely. 

They went out back and tossed the bags in the container. M. Emrys gave a pointed look at Arthur’s soaked socks. 

“I’m off to work,” Arthur’s neighbour said. 

“I work from home on Fridays. Today’s Friday.” 

“Yes. Yes, it is.” M. Emrys smirked. Arthur felt his cheeks flush. He waited for the other man to get to the end of the street, before taking his phone out of his pocket. His sister answered on the first ring. 

“Morgana, I have a problem, do you still have my spare key?” he winced at her laughter, coming from the other end of the line. 

“What? No, of course I didn’t get distracted by my neighbour again.” 

*** 

Arthur remembered those occasions as he stood in his kitchen, a heavy cardboard box clutched to his chest. 

Emrys, it said on the box. Arthur ran his thumb over the label. M. Emrys, he mouthed. He didn’t say it out loud. He didn’t want to. He’d signed for the package, so now it was his responsibility. His to hand over to the man it belonged to. 

The words **Camelot Plumbing LTD** were printed in a bright gold on the lid. He should definitely go hand it over to M. Emrys when the man got home tonight, Arthur thought, what’s the worst that could happen? 

The box stayed on Arthur’s counter for the rest of the day. 

He should have gone over. Should have left the damn box in front of M. Emrys’ door. That would have been great. It wasn’t as if Ms. Santos was going to come and steal a box full of whatever the hell it was someone ordered from a company called Camelot Plumbing. 

But no. He hadn’t. 

And whatever it was, M. Emrys would probably need it. Or get an e-mail saying the package had been delivered and accepted by a neighbour. Dear God and he’d had it for _hours_ without dropping it off. 

This didn’t cause as much panic as it usually would. Not tonight. Arthur couldn’t multitask. And he sure as hell couldn’t multi-panic. Arthur was running late. White rabbit heading back to Wonderland-late. That was enough to worry over for one evening, thank you very much. 

He had agreed to go out on a blind date tonight. “Agreed to” might be stretching it. No one ever really agreed to anything when it came to Morgana. She told you when you were supposed to show up, what you were supposed to bring and what she expected you to wear, regardless of how many times you told her you’d rather just stay in and watch the Witcher on Netflix for the fifth time. But he shouldn’t have bothered. There was no arguing with Morgana, which is why Arthur’s Google Search history now included “How to make small-talk" and “How to sound interesting”. Nothing he read made him feel the least bit prepared for the date. He still had time, though, right? He only had to leave in... forty-five minutes. Damn it. 

To make matters worse, he’d also decided that, for some reason, adding an extra dash of anxiety to this night by handing over the package in person would be a great idea. That’s why he found himself in front of M. Emrys’ door with a giant box of what felt like lead pipes in his arms. 

He knocked. 

When his neighbour didn’t show, Arthur let out a sigh of relief. He was probably busy. Perfect, he’d just leave this by the doo- 

“I wondered where that ended up,” M. Emrys said with a smile, when he opened the door. Arthur had been about to put the box on the floor. He couldn’t do much more than gawk at the man towering over him. 

“I’ve been surviving without hot water for three days now.” 

“The horror,” Arthur agreed. 

Emrys laughed. “Amen to that!”

Wait. Were they having an actual conversation? One where Arthur had just made a joke? Arthur was about to turn around and put a stop to this conversation before he managed to make it worse when his neighbour spoke again. 

“Actually. Would you mind if I... Showered at your place? I’ve got a date in an hour and I don’t want to show up smelling like,” he lowered his voice and leaned forward as if he was about to share a big secret, “Ms. Santos.” 

Arthur chuckled and waved his hand in front of his nose. “Now that you mention it. You do need a shower. Unless you want to make that poor girl swoon so you can catch her.” 

“Oh I’m sure any woman going out with me would be shit out of luck. Swooning guys, though...” M. Emrys winked. 

God damn it, and Arthur had been doing so well. 

“I’m guessing that’s a no on the shower, then?” 

What? Oh. Right. Shower. 

“Oh, no, that’s fine,” Arthur said. “You’ll have to be quick though, I’m leaving in a bit. Not that you need my assistance. To shower that is. I’m sure you can handle yourself in there.” 

So much for having a normal conversation. Arthur took a deep breath and motioned for M. Emrys to follow him. When they entered his apartment, Arthur continued, “I’m going to a place called Percival’s. My sister recommended it. Booked the table, too. It’s a blind date actually. I’ve never even seen the man. Of course. I mean. It’s a blind date after all.” 

_Please just... stop. Talking!_ he said to himself. Didn’t work. 

“Anyways, yes it’s a blind date. All I’ve got is the guy’s name. It’s Merlin. Can you believe that? _Mer_ lin? Bet she set me up with the guy just so she can joke about it later.” 

Arthur tried to fill the silence that followed by laughing at his awkward joke. His laugh was fake and he knew it sounded like it, too. 

“And why would that be funny, exactly?” M. Emrys finally asked in a clipped voice. 

“Because my name’s Arthur. You know, handsome King surrounded by a bunch of Knights, huge round table?” 

The other man simply nodded. Arthur refused to be irked by the fact his neighbour hadn’t shared his own name in return but tried his best to focus on the task at hand. Getting that man in his shower without thinking too hard about what that would mean exactly. Because he knew that all hopes of holding up a conversation would be out the window as soon as he’d let himself think about a blue-eyed god in his shower. Naked. With hot, steamy water running all over his body while he lathered hims- 

Arthur coughed. All things considered he should be proud of himself for managing to show Emrys his bathroom without heading into the wrong room first... The fact that there were no dirty boxers on the floor earned him a mental pat on the back as well. He showed M. Emrys how the taps worked and even remembered which one was for hot and which for cold water. Not bad at all. 

He left the room and closed the door behind him. Arthur leaned against the door and groaned. He heard a soft rustling behind the door, then heard something fall on the floor. Shit. His neighbour was undressing. Arthur heard a second, heavier object land on the floor. Jeans. He’d been wearing jeans. Not anymore. 

Thirty-five minutes left. Time to fix himself that Uber ride. 

By the time the shower stopped running, Arthur had cooled down. Not enough to keep a straight face when M. Emrys came out of his bathroom, looking flushed and damn near perfect with his tousled wet hair and dark red button-down shirt. 

“You do clean up nicely,” Arthur said, in an attempt to start a conversation rather than just gawk at the man. “You said you were going out?” 

“I am. A blind date, too, actually. I agreed to please my friend Gwen, but honestly, I’d rather just stay in and finally get around to watching the Witcher.” The other man smiled as he went over to the kitchen counter. He pulled out one of the high chairs and took a seat. 

“Same.” Arthur sounded pained. 

“Oh I know, I’ve heard you sing along to ‘Toss a coin to your witcher’ at least thirty times last month.” 

Arthur felt his cheeks flush. “Why didn’t you just...” 

“Bang on the walls and tell you to shut it? Not really my style. Unlike some people I know,” M. Emrys smirked. 

“I’m sorry about that. I had a bit of a shit day. Shouldn’t have acted like an ass.” 

“You really shouldn’t have. But I suppose I should forgive you.” 

“You’re a saint.” Arthur was glad to see the other man returned his smile. Wait, was he flirting? Were they? When had M. Emrys moved closer? 

Arthur glanced away and licked his lips in what he knew could only be interpreted as a nervous manner. The clock on the oven blinked and caught his attention. 

His Uber was going to arrive in ten minutes. 

“So, that blind date of yours,” M. Emrys prompted, “what do you know about him?” 

“Nothing much asides from his name, that he works in IT and that he’s apparently just as hopeless as I am.” 

Emrys arched a brow. “Hopeless... really?”

“Well, I suppose I am. Don’t tell anyone, but I googled how to make small talk. Can’t even get that right. If all else fails, I’ve still got a bunch of jellyfish facts.” 

Why was he even saying this to his neighbour? Oh well, no going back now. 

“Jellyfish... Bet your date’s going to love that.” 

“Well I’ll have you know they don’t have brains. If they’re into that, I’m sure we’ll get along just fine.” 

Emrys laughed. He laughed! At Arthur’s joke! Maybe there was some hope left after all. 

“Definitely a winner. What else have you got?” The other man leaned forward. Arthur let out a nervous chuckle and opened his mouth to answer his neighbour, only to find he couldn’t, not when M. Emrys’s face was this damn close to his own. 

“Um. There’s this thing called a jellyfish bloom, it’s when their population increases and –” 

“Or how about,” M. Emrys interrupted him, “you try something like this instead.” 

Emrys put a hand on Arthur’s shoulder, leaned even closer, and whispered, “Your eyes... they have specks of gold in them.”

A second later, M. Emrys’ voice had gone back to normal. He leaned back. “Or maybe something like this,” he said, before stilling completely. All he did, was look at Arthur with a gaze that seemed to darken by the second. He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and let his eyes creep over Arthur’s body, top to bottom and back again, until his eyes found Arthur’s. When they did, M. Emrys chewed his lip briefly, before releasing it ever so slowly. 

“Y-yeah,” Arthur said, when his brain finally got over all the short-circuiting. “That’s...” He swallowed. “That’s probably better than the jellyfish.” 

“Oh, I don’t know, I thought you were pretty adorable just now.” 

Arthur swallowed again. He thought what now? 

“Thanks?” 

“You’re welcome. So, Percival’s?” 

“What?” 

“The restaurant you’re going to. You said it’s called Percival’s.” 

“I... did?” Arthur had no idea where his neighbour was going with this. 

“I’m going there, too. Should have probably left already, actually. So how about we share an Uber?” 

Right. The date. The one Arthur wouldn’t mind forsaking entirely so he could keep embarrassing himself in front of his neighbour. That one. 

He felt himself nod. 

Arthur had no idea how he managed to put a jacket on, let alone get out the front door with both his keys _and_ his phone. Miracles did happen. He couldn’t think, still too busy processing what had just happened. Emrys had called him adorable. No, first he’d subjected Arthur to the kind of hungry gaze that made him feel like spontaneous combustion was, in fact, within the realm of possibilities. And then he’d called him adorable. Adorable! 

Somehow Arthur managed to make it to the Uber he’d called. Emrys held the door open for him and Arthur slid in. The other man followed soon after, choosing to sit much closer to Arthur than necessary. 

“I like your cologne,” Arthur said, eager to break the silence. 

“I should think so, it’s yours.” The other man’s eyes twinkled, reflecting the street lights they drove past. “I’m... sorry if I made you uncomfortable earlier.” 

“You did, but it’s quite alright. Caught me off-guard, is all. I’m no good at any of this.” 

“As long as you stay away from the jellyfish convo, you’ll be fine,” Emrys said. 

Arthur chuckled. “There’s always the story of how I chased a cat around a rooftop for twenty minutes with my neighbour on his bunny slippers, I guess.” 

“Don’t tell them that one,” M. Emrys said in a low voice. 

“And why’s that?” 

“Because things might get awkward when you slip up and tell them about that time your neighbour kissed you in the back of an Uber.” 

“When he wh-” 

Emrys’ mouth was soft, those plump lips exactly as enticing as Arthur had imagined them to be. Emrys stilled for a moment, as if to check if Arthur was alright with being kissed. Which he was. Totally. More than. Holy shit. Arthur grabbed Emrys’ vest and pulled him even closer. The other man didn’t need any more encouragement than that. He was all over Arthur within seconds, pushing him against the car door, one hand on his hip, the other in Arthur’s hair. 

Fuck. 

Emrys deepened the kiss and one of them moaned. Arthur couldn’t quite tell which one of them. Not that it mattered. Emrys licked into his mouth, tasting like peppermint. Had he taken a breath mint? Had he planned this? Had he– Emrys pulled at Arthur’s hair, stopping his train of thought immediately. Right. They were kissing. Holy shit, they were kissing. Arthur focused on Emrys, letting his hands slide under his vest, where he found lean muscle, covered by the soft fabric of Emrys’ shirt. 

The uber driver took a sharp turn and Emrys almost fell onto the car floor. Arthur’s arm around Emrys’ body was the one thing that kept him from falling. Emrys looked up at him and chuckled. “If that wasn’t Uber slang for ‘get a room’, I don’t know what was,” he whispered. 

Arthur smiled and helped the other man get back on his seat. He felt Emrys was looking at him but chose to look outside instead. He waited for his breathing to slow down before he did. 

“I’m...” Arthur started, right when the car slowed down. 

“Gentlemen, we’re at Percival’s,” the driver said dryly. Right. The date. Arthur swallowed and opened his door. He got out, followed by M. Emrys, whose crooked smile didn’t help Arthur figure out what to do about this mess he’d gotten himself in. At all. 

“Do you need a minute?” Emrys asked. Arthur didn’t bother answering. 

Emrys placed a hand on Arthur’s arm. “I’m going to head inside. Have fun tonight, Arthur.” 

Arthur nodded. 

He heard the man’s footsteps as he walked away, heard the sounds from the restaurant when he opened the door and went inside. Arthur sighed. There was no way he would be able to go on a date right now, not after what just happened. But he owed it to Morgana’s friend to at least say hi, rather than stand them up. Morgana would have his head on a stake when she found out. Arthur groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, forcing his breathing to steady and went inside. 

“Pendragon, reservation for two,” he told the maitre d’. 

“Welcome to Percival’s, sir. Your company has already arrived, follow me.” 

Arthur hadn’t understood the expression dragging your feet. Until now. He followed the waiter, his eyes fixed on the man’s feet before him. He refused to look up, afraid he’d find M. Emrys and his date. Afraid he’d see them laughing, see M. Emrys touch his date’s arm like he had Arthur’s. See him kiss whoever it was senseless until all that was left was a frazzled, breathless mess. 

The waiter stopped by a small table in the back of the restaurant. Arthur plastered a smile on his face and raised his head to look at his date. 

His jaw dropped. 

It. 

Dropped. 

“Merlin Emrys,” the man at the table said, as he got up from his chair and held out a hand. Arthur took it without realising he had, until he felt the other man’s thumb rub over the sensitive skin between his thumb and index finger. “Nice to meet you, Arthur.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for being here. It means so much that you took your time to read my work!
> 
> English isn't my first language, so if you found anything that needs fixing, feel free to let me know!


End file.
